1. Silent Treatment After Every Argument

What it looks like:

They don’t just ask for space—they use silence as a punishment. Weeks may go by without a word, and things only resume when:

• You apologize (even if you did nothing wrong).
• They decide to act like nothing happened.

Why it’s harmful:

Silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation. It creates an imbalance of power, leaving you feeling desperate to “fix” things just to restore communication.

2. Stonewalling

What it looks like:

When communication is needed most—especially when you’re vulnerable or seeking support—they completely shut down or disappear.

Why it’s harmful:

Stonewalling dismisses your emotional needs and leaves you feeling unheard and unsupported. Over time, it can erode your self-esteem and create a sense of isolation in the relationship.

3. Gaslighting

What it looks like:

• They insist it’s always your fault.
• They call your expectations “too high” or say things like “no one else would complain.”
• They label you as “too emotional” or “too sensitive.”

Why it’s harmful:

Over time, this behavior can make you question your own feelings and perceptions. You start to wonder if your needs are unreasonable or if you’re imagining the problems altogether.

4. Name Calling, Belittling, and Blatant Disrespect

What it looks like:

When you express your needs, they respond with insults like:

• “You’re crazy.”
• “You’re f*cked up.”
• “You need help.”

Why it’s harmful:

This goes beyond hurtful language—it’s a tactic to shift blame, avoid accountability, and make you feel unworthy of love and respect.

5. Blaming You for Their Wrongdoings

What it looks like:

Even when their behavior is clearly wrong, they deflect responsibility by saying things like:

• “I said that because you made me.”
• “You shouldn’t have provoked me.”

Why it’s harmful:

This type of blame-shifting makes you feel like the problem isn’t their behavior—it’s you for pointing it out.

When Avoidance Becomes Emotional Harm

When avoidant behaviors escalate to emotional neglect, it’s no longer just about their attachment style—it’s about power and control.

Not all avoidants are abusive. Many genuinely struggle with emotional vulnerability and fear of intimacy. But if their behavior leaves you feeling drained, depressed, or questioning your self-worth, it’s more than just attachment dynamics. It’s emotional harm.

You Deserve Emotional Safety

It’s not your job to fix or heal your partner, or prove your worth in hopes that they’ll change. Protecting yourself and prioritizing your emotional safety is essential.

Healing starts with shifting the focus back to yourself—your needs, boundaries, and emotional well-being. You deserve a relationship where you feel supported, valued, and safe to be your authentic self.